How to Support a Loved One with Depression

Have you noticed your partner withdrawing from conversations? Or a friend cancelling plans more often? Or maybe a family member who once lit up a room now seems distant and flat. These quiet shifts can be signs that someone close to you is dealing with depression and can leave you feeling helpless, unsure of how to help or what to say.

This blog will guide you through understanding the signs of depression, offer practical tips to help you provide emotional support, and look after your own well-being as you walk alongside them.

Signs Your Loved One May be Depressed

Recognising the signs of depression in a loved one can be the first step towards supporting them. Common indicators of depression include persistent sadness, irritability, withdrawal from social activities, changes in appetite or sleep, and loss of interest in hobbies they once enjoyed. These depression signs to watch for can be subtle, but if they persist for more than two weeks, it might indicate that your loved one is struggling with more than just a low mood.

If you suspect a loved one is suffering from depression, it's important to remember that depression in relationships can create distance and misunderstanding. Understanding that these changes stem from mental health challenges rather than personal rejection is vital. Helping someone open up about depression begins with noticing these behavioural changes and approaching them with empathy. 

That said, talking to someone about depression can feel daunting. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or making things worse. A good place to start is by being present and genuine; this alone can make a meaningful difference.

What to Say to Someone Who’s Depressed

Supporting someone with depression involves showing empathy, patience, and understanding while encouraging them to seek professional help and maintain healthy habits. It's crucial to listen without judgment, offer practical support, and remind them that recovery is possible with treatment.

How to support a loved one struggling with depression:

Listen without judgment: One of the most powerful ways to comfort someone who is depressed is simply to listen. Allow them to express their feelings without offering immediate solutions or judgments. How to listen without judgment is a crucial skill that builds trust and emotional safety.

Listen to understand, not to respond: Use open-ended questions like, "How have you been feeling lately?" or "Would you like to talk about what you’re going through?" Focus on truly hearing their words instead of planning your reply. Reassure them that they are not alone, that you care, and that you acknowledge their experience.

Avoid offering solutions or advice unless asked: When trying to support someone who is depressed, it's key to validate their feelings rather than try to solve the problem. Just being heard is more helpful than being “fixed.”

Don’t minimise or compare: Avoid phrases like “It’s not that bad” or “Others have it worse.” These can make someone feel misunderstood or dismissed and could discourage them from opening up and seeking professional help.

Be patient and present: Small cues can signal that you are a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. Use open body language, maintain eye contact, and minimise distractions like phones or TV. It's also important to respect their pace. Allow them to share as much or as little as they want, and respect their requests for space or silence. 

How to Offer Emotional Support Daily

Knowing how to help someone with depression starts with consistent emotional support, rather than grand gestures. This might include daily check-ins, encouraging small activities like a short walk, helping them run errands or prepare a meal. It can also mean gently encouraging self-care and connection.

If you’re supporting someone with depression, avoid pushing them to "snap out of it." Instead, offer presence and patience. This is especially important when you're learning how to support a partner with depression, because your emotional closeness can make your role both more meaningful and more challenging.

Encouraging Them to Get Professional Help

Encouraging therapy for depression can feel sensitive, but it’s often an essential step. Let your loved one know that seeking professional support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Try saying, "Have you considered speaking with a therapist? I can help you find someone or go with you to your first appointment if you'd like." These conversations are part of how to help a loved one with depression and can remove some of the fear or stigma around mental health support for friends.

Remember, you are not their therapist. Professional care is key in understanding how to deal with depression in the long term.

What Not to Say to a Depressed Loved One

Learning how to talk to someone with mental illness starts with compassion, not correction. Be mindful that using phrases like "just cheer up" or "others have it worse" can be harmful.

Other responses to avoid include: 

“Just think positive.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“You should…”

Instead, focus on how to be there for someone with depression by offering empathy and avoiding assumptions. It's not always easy to know what to say, so let them guide the conversation, and be willing to simply sit with their discomfort. Compassionate phrases you can use with someone with depression combine validation, empathy, and nonjudgment.

Some helpful examples include: 

"Your feelings are valid.”

“I’m here for you, no matter what.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I may not fully understand, but I care about how you feel.”

“You matter and you’re important.”

These phrases acknowledge that the person’s emotions are real, understandable, and acceptable, regardless of whether you would feel the same way. It creates a safe space where the person feels seen and heard, and encourages openness and trust between you.

Taking care of Yourself while Supporting Them

Caring for someone with depression can be emotionally taxing and, in some instances, lead to burnout. Coping strategies for caregivers include setting boundaries, seeking support from others, and taking time to recharge.

Understanding setting boundaries when helping others is crucial to maintaining your own well-being. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and your ability to offer support depends on sustaining your own mental health.

If you’re unsure how to help a friend, partner, or family member cope with depression without becoming overwhelmed, consider speaking with a therapist yourself. Your well-being matters too.

Final Reflections

Supporting someone with depression is a journey of empathy, patience, and understanding. From knowing how to help someone who is depressed to learning how to listen without judgment, your care can make a significant difference. Encourage professional help, offer steady support, and remember to look after yourself, too.

Whether you’re figuring out how to support a partner with depression or helping someone open up about depression, every small act of kindness counts. Clearmind helps individuals find the right therapist for their needs. Remember that recovery is possible, and no one has to walk this path alone.